#1 – As a wife you should never, I MEAN EVER, underestimate the power of your words in regards to how you speak to your husband. You should be his PRIMARY source of encouragement. The word you speak to him and about him in front of other carry more weight than you could EVER imagine! (I wrote about that specifically in this post entitled, “What A Wife Should NEVER Do,” I would strongly encourage every woman to read it!)
#2 – A woman who attempts to manipulate/control her husband through emotional outbursts, crying and temper tantrums is NOT focused on what is best for the marriage but rather obsessed with getting her way…which always leads to division in the marriage relationship. (See Proverbs 12:4, Proverbs 19:13, Proverbs 21:9, Proverbs 21:19, Proverbs 25:24, Proverbs 27:15!)(AND…btw…a woman who is emotionally out of control is always out of control in another area of her life…it just usually becomes obvious in her emotions!)
#3 – Your husband should NEVER be the object of your worship…you will crush him under that weight! He is a man…he is going to do something dumb, he’s going to say something insensitive and he’s not going to fulfill your every need/desire. Your primary focus should be on the LORD…and as you grow in your love for HIM you should constantly beg HIM to allow you to see your husband through HIS EYES!!! (I promise you this will significantly impact your marriage!)
#4 – Every man wants to know that he can trust his wife. Be trustworthy! It takes a man longer to be open with his heart/feelings…and when he opens up you need to be trusted with that information. If you take what he tells you and use it as a conversation piece with your girlfriends and he finds out it is going to be incredibly difficult for him to trust you in the future.
#5 – Your husband cannot read your mind. He cannot understand how you feel. This isn’t a game…it’s marriage. If something is wrong then select the right moment, speak the truth in love and do not attack him when you share what is on your heart. The goal isn’t to win an argument but solve the problem.
#6 – How you speak about him in front of your children either sets him up for success or failure as a father. If you constantly tear him down to your kids then they will see him as you see him, have no respect for him and in the future when you need him to help out with explanation or discipline your children will not listen to him because of the foundation of disrespect that you put down.
#7 – Your character is the most important quality in your life in regards to what your husband wants/needs the most from you (see Proverbs 31:10-12!) Spend as much time developing yourself internally as you do in regards to external appearances!